Writing the Sonnet

Participating in the SL Bloggers Mix and Match was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed reading everyone’s posts. It’s fun to see what people come up when they’re given random topics that may or may not be within their normal sphere of writing. So many people mentioned their first days in SL as they were writing that it made me a bit nostalgic. I’ve realized that I actually don’t remember much of those first days even with starting this blog within 6 months of signing up for SL and having my Flickr stream dating back to earlier than that. It’s definitely been a fun evolution for me, and although I might not remember every detail now, I know each person and experience has played a part in shaping me. Thank you!

All this thinking about my journey through SL probably has a bit to do with the time of year too. It just seems like a great time to bundle up with a cup of coffee and do a little thinking and writing and having heart-to-hearts with my favorite people. Ivy Falls is deep in winter mode now, and I just happened to be around as Kere started the decorating so I grabbed a few photos of the early stages. It’s much more snowy now, and once I tear myself away from my death knight in World of Warcraft, I’m sure I’ll have lots more shots there. Maybe I’ll even be able to drag one or two of the people reading this over to the cafe to enjoy some coffee with me while we people watch. Let’s find some peace in SL and share it.

I signed up for the SL Bloggers Mix and Match a bit ago, and as a result, I’ve written a guest post about paying it forward in SL (topic suggested by Ganymedes Costagravas) for Living in the Metaverse. The topic I suggested - the impact of socialization outside SL through sites like Flickr and Plurk on relationships within SL - is being tackled by Uccello Poultry on the official SL blog. The guest writer here today is Quaintly Tuqiri of Quirky Quaintly, and the rest of this post is her detailed look at keeping new male residents engaged in SL as suggested by Eliza Wrigglesworth.

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How many of you remember your first week in SL^®? I vividly remember bumping into people all the time and apologising, “Sorry, I’m new, I can’t walk straight yet.” Everyone who heard that laughed, not at me (at least I hope not) but with me, because they’d all gone through it themselves and totally knew what I meant.

When you’re new in SL, there’s this learning curve, especially for someone like me who’s never played computer games before. No MMORPGs, no nothing, the only thing I used to play regularly was Minesweeper. And occasionally Solitaire. Oh yes, and back in my previous office we’d play Yahoo’s TextTwist. But all those hardly count, next to SL (okay, okay, I know SL’s not a game! Give me a break, will ya? :P)

Right, where was I? Oh yeah, the learning curve. I’m supposed to be telling you about “The lack of encouragement for new male residents to stay in Second Life”, but since I’m, err, female — does a quick check, right, okay, definitely female — I decided to conduct an Extremely Unscientific Survey among male residents to see what they had to say.

16 male residents responded, and the general consensus is that… [drum roll] … friends are generally the greatest form of encouragement for new male residents to stay in SL. “I came and went my first year. I hung around when I finally started making some friends and started going places and doing things with them,” says Dyami Jameson.

Adds Jerremy Darwin, “I think to stay interested in SL one needs to start making friends. The most wonderful places or builds don’t mean a thing if you don’t have friends to share it with.”

Guys need friends to monkey around with

However, at least two of the guys also noted that SL functions more like a social network than a game (okay, okay! I told you I know it’s not a game!). And, err, unlike women, most guys aren’t that much into socialising. Hold the rotten tomatoes! I didn’t say this, they said it! I’m just quoting! I’m not the one stereotyping and being sexist here!!

“I think men in Second Life are more motivated by ‘goals’ and scoring systems, which makes SL less attractive to them than women, who are more attracted to the social aspect of the metaverse,” comments Prad Prathivi. “Guys are naturally competitive and aim to lead the pack, which is harder and less obvious to achieve in SL.” I’m imagining all the guys reading this flexing their muscles now…

Peter Stindberg explains it this way: “Males want challenges, tasks and goals — all this is not apparent in SL. You need to find your own purpose in SL, make your own goals, find your own tasks. This makes SL less attractive compared to a kill-all-enemies-grab-all-gold type of game.” He suggests converting orientation stations into games which might offer a reward, perhaps a small amount of L$ or some sort of avatar clothing or equipment.

“It’s a stereotype, but give each new male resident a fishing rod and a shotgun, fill the Linden seas with fish and the forests with deer, reward each trophy with L$1 or status points or gadgets, and the crucial first days and weeks will pass more easily,” adds Peter.

Other suggestions included sending male avatars to a different starting location, for example a space/sci-fi sim, or one where weapons were welcome and combat enabled. Some of them come from MMORPGs and are used to shooting things, going on quests, having a goal. Let them shoot things! Give them a comfortable, familiar environment to start with! Lure them in, and before they know it, they’ll be stuck here like the rest of us. Muahahahahah!

It was also noted that there is not enough information about all the other things going on in SL apart from clubbing, “playing house”, and sex. “A quick look at the SLCN website reveals a lot more than you find on the main [SecondLife] website. For example, I discovered there was a football tournament,” Ciaran Laval says. Oooh football. As a mere female, I’ve never understood this fascination men have with that tiny round thing they go chasing around the field…

This difference in male-female perspective leads Jerremy to believe that there should be different types of marketing strategies targeting different demographic groups. Ads targeting males should focus on things that interest men more: “The power to control their world — building, scripting. The ability to watch or participate in unique sporting events. Machinima. Role-playing. And, as these are men, hot sexy women can’t hurt,” he grins. Of course, some… um… many males might enter SL for the sex, but that’s bound to pall after awhile. I think. Does sex ever get boring? Err… lemme rephrase. Does pixel humping ever get boring? Is that a resounding “NO!” I hear? o.O

The sex thing is part of the visual aspect of SL, though. If SL weren’t so dependent on visual content, and weren’t so open-ended, things might be different. But because visual content is an important aspect of SL, the avatar’s appearance is one of the crucial factors that will encourage a new male residents to stay on. Girls want to look pretty; guys want to look hunky. Or at least, they don’t want to look like ridiculous newbies. If they have to look ridiculous, they’d rather not be there at all. I mean, come on, if I had to stare at an ugly avatar on the screen all the time, I wouldn’t want to go inworld, either.

“There’s a certain ‘Ken & Barbie’ aspect to SL that seems to appeal to both sexes, and I find that most male residents enjoy ‘fixing up’ their avatar with the best-looking and highest quality items just as much as females,” Merrick Thor comments. I’ve seen Merrick as Captain America, the Human Torch and Bob the Builder, so I’m not sure what he’s referring to when he talks about fixing up his avatar with “the best-looking and highest quality items”, but never mind XD

So the prevalence of the fashion industry and the corresponding difficulty of finding good — or any — men’s clothing can be a stumbling block. “On the surface, SL seems like a place for women to buy clothes,” jokes Bone Mosten.

In fact, the lack of clothing for men is what has led Rik Pfalz to, more often than not, socialise as a female alt, Osiris Pfalz: “Although she was initially somewhere to hide out when I didn’t want to be disturbed, I soon realised that with so much more content in SL designed for women, Osiris became the obvious choice for parties and socialising. Well, that and I do have an interest in fashion, so was happy to have the excuse to buy more clothes!”

Men rarely get to be this pooped from SL shopping

However, Gahum Riptide, self-confessed male fashionista, notes that men’s fashion “has really begun to take off in the last year”. Male fashion blogs have blossomed, among them Winter Jefferson’s blog,
In Cold Blood; Lawless McBride’s blog, Half Arsed; Takeshi Ugajin’s blog, Shop with Takeshi; Lustinian Tomsen’s blog, Second Life Male Style and Fashion; Monta Horan’s blog, Monta; and Oscar Page’s blog, Oscaresque. Of course, one can’t leave out the collaborative blogs Men’s Second Style and SL Men, and now there are even two blogs covering male-related freebies: Free Finds for Men and Free for Men.

Having tried my best to help by fixing you guys up with these blogs, sometimes no amount of encouragement is going to get a male to stay (they’re stubborn that way). “Some guys won’t see any appeal in SL as it’s not a proper ‘game’, so they’re always going to be a lost market,” shrugs Prad.

**This post was brought to you by Quaintly Tuqiri of Quirky Quaintly. She would like to thank the other respondents not named/quoted here for participating in her Extremely Unscientific Survey: Tiyuk Quellmalz, Arne Lauridsen, Fricker Fraker, Crisitaly Pennell, Aldo Zond, ArminasX Saiman, and Bon Berman. She would also like to thank her photography models Merrick Thor, Elora Henig, and Immortal Wingtips for their patience

**This topic was brought to you by Eliza Wrigglesworth of the blog Free Finds For Men.

So after all my talk about how I wasn’t leaving Sonnet due to LL’s changes to openspace sims, I decided to let Sonnet go. I still didn’t do it because of LL though. There are some changes coming, and I just decided it made more sense to strip down to the basics and figure out what I wanted and needed.

Before I left Sonnet, I had to take some last photos there. The underwater sections were the biggest parts of the dreams brought to life at Sonnet, and I’m grateful to both Kere and Kavar for doing so much to help me make a home there. One of the items Kere built was this underwater theatre. I got some shots when he first surprised me with it, but glow wasn’t working in my SL snapshots at the time so I never felt like I did it justice. I’m not sure I did this time either, but they’re closer to the true beauty of the place at least.

Although Sonnet no longer exists in SL, it will always be with me, and the friends who built it with me are still around looking forward to whatever will come next. I won’t forget it, but for now it’s time to shake my fins elsewhere. And of course, you’re invited along on the journey. Don’t be scared to dive deep into the dark waters because we have enough light to make the whole world shine, and we will.

This is just a quick post to share a look that I’ve been wearing in a variety of colors lately. The core outfit uses just three items - hair and dress from Exile and boots from Decoy. When I want to wear something that’s easy to put together and makes me feel stylish, then these are my picks.

I’ve been wearing the City Chic hair with the Salem dress ever since Kavar released the dress weeks ago. City Chic is such a fantastic autumn hair with the cap’s multitude of textures to match anything and the low ponytail that’s both casual and classy, and when I saw the Salem dress, I immediately knew this was going to be a great match for City Chic. Thankfully Kavar realized that as well and created many colors of the dress to match the cap’s textures. With a simple change in accessories, these two wardrobe staples can combine to be the perfect outfit for whatever you need.

Then my fashion duo became my trio with the release of the Jully boots from Decoy. These sculpted heeled boots come in 11 different shades of suede that look so soft and touchable, and the band around the boots includes a color-changing script to let you choose between the same 11 shades as the boots. I’m a fan of brown in any season but particularly in autumn, I find myself reaching for dark rich shades, which meant I had to have these boots in cocoa. I haven’t been disappointed at all, and the first time I wore them with this outfit, I knew I had a new favorite. An extra gold star to Annette Voight of Decoy for making these boots so simple to mod for a perfect fit.

The first time I heard the word namaste explained to me as “the light within me bows to the light within you”, I fell in love with it. It’s just a beautiful image to have in your mind, and there are times when I need to be reminded both of the light in others and the light within me. The past few weeks have just seemed so crazy for many people with stress and worry coming from all directions, and it’s worn me down a bit. I’ve had a hard time relaxing and focusing on the people and things that make me happy and letting negativity have too much control.

A few people have asked me what will be happening with Sonnet with the recent pricing changes posted by LL, and the short answer is that based on current information, Sonnet isn’t going anywhere. I can afford the additional money, and Sonnet is still worth it to me at that price. Now am I happy about a 67% increase in the monthly cost and the rationale given by LL? No, of course not, but I also personally can’t make the leap to calling it fraud and suing LL and/or reporting them to the FTC. I’m sad for my friends who are being affected so harshly by the announcement, and I admit that I’m anxious about it all and wonder if this will have long-term effects on SL.

And then of course there’s lots of uncertainty and stress outside SL too with worry about the economy and upcoming elections in the United States. Peace of mind seems so scarce lately for many of us, and the energy from the elections has had me spinning. I think I’m not the only one feeling worn out. I’ve found it very easy to just get lost in numerous “what if” scenarios that never turn out well in my head when I should be spending more of my time working on the various projects that have been lingering for weeks so that I can see progress somewhere.

Where is all this leading? Your guess is as good as mine. I’m trying to snap myself out of this tunnel vision and wash some of the gunk off of my spirit. Thanks to really incredible friends who continue to encourage me, I’m hoping that there will be some good news related to Shine to share soon. As I’ve discussed for months, I think Shine is finally going to make the leap beyond eyes to something more. That will all depend on my texturing experiments though, so we’ll see. I’m creating eyes again as well, and that’s energized me a bit in a positive way.

It’s time to find your light and let it shine for the world. Don’t hide it away, and don’t be afraid of it. Take a break if you need to, or be like me and put on some pretty hair and wings and meditate on your reflection. It’s ok to stop for a bit and figure out how to recharge, but don’t forget that you also need to eventually move again.

Maybe it’s the time of year, the weather, the week I spent away from SL, or just my usual overthinking, but I keep coming back to trying to figure out my purpose in SL lately. I don’t want to make it a bigger deal than it is, but it’s been on my mind so much that I figured I should at least post some of my thoughts and see if that helps anything come together. I guess this is the intro to another of my 15-minute off-the-cuff posts. Stream of consciousness for the win!

Basically, I like to dabble and explore. I enjoy documenting all of that with blog posts and screenshots, and I like setting up special shots to convey a feeling or capture a moment. Spending time with my friends is always great, but I also like time to myself either working on projects or simply shopping or walking around an area. Concerts are a lot of fun, and I’ve been trying to branch out and hear more new people as well as going back to my favorites like Keiko.

I’m so not a Photoshop guru, but I like playing there and working on new eyes and even trying my hand at textures for the things I’ve been building like the sculpted prim photo props I’ve been playing with in various programs and the big photo prop builds like the huge jewelry box I never mentioned for some reason but used as the stage for some ballerina/doll photos and the small items I’ve been creating for friends and family as gifts here and there. The props would be even more fun with custom poses/animations, so yeah, I’ve been giving that a whirl again, and then on top of that, some components would be great if they were scripted for this or that, so there’s some scripting love going on too. And of course, it’s SL, so there’s shopping and putting together outfits.

There’s no one thing that’s my thing, and I’m bothered by that for some reason. I put too much pressure on myself to be productive when in reality SL is my place where I can just be. I can create if I want. I can dance if I want. I can explore and shop and take photos if I want. I can just dress up and hang out in the sky with my best friend and chat if I want.

So what do I want to do? A little bit of everything, I guess, and there’s nothing wrong with that, and I don’t even have to be good at it. I don’t have to be anything. That’s the key. I like having Shine and selling eyes there and maybe even selling some of the other little odds and ends I’ve been making and will continue to make, but selling and marketing myself is never going to be my emphasis. It’s not who I am, and it’s not what my SL experience needs to be no matter how much some weird voice in my head tries to make me feel bad about that.

I think that brings us back to the way of the awesome all over again. What awesome thing do I want to do today? I want to just be me and not beat myself up for it. Funny how SL really brings me to the big lesson. Like I’ve always said, I’m just me wherever you meet me. Thanks for being with me on the journey.

Two of the things that are a lot of fun for me in SL are putting together outfits and setting up photos, so I decided it was about time to actually reflect some of that in my blog. I’ll periodically show off what I’ve been wearing in a “pick your poison”. The name for the semi-regular series was an off-the-cuff suggestion from Kavar, and I liked it. I’m calling this particular outfit Rock Star for a couple of reasons. One is that I really do feel a bit like a rock star wearing it, and then the second reason is simply that I put it together after just finishing some scripts for a couple of friends. Having the scripts actually work kind of made me feel a bit like a rock star because it’s a bit of a rush to figure out a script and help out some friends.

Kavar had just finished The Slut Rule costumes, which he created after a random discussion we had about the notion of costumes that led back around to the movie Mean Girls. For those not familiar with the movie, this is the slut rule - “In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. The hard-core girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.” The costumes worn by a few of the main characters were a mouse, a cat, and a bunny, so Kavar did a take on those ideas with his own twist. I love the pieces in the mouse costume just on their own so I decided to use that as a base, and then rummaged through my inventory folders for other pieces that would make an outfit I’d be happy to wear out and about for a little bit.

After deciding on the mouse costume base, the very next piece picked was the gorgeous SLink PVC boots. The thigh-high boots are all done on a texture except for the sculpted base that includes the heel, which means no fitting issues at all, and the texture is scrumptious! These are going to get a lot of use. I’d just picked up the cardigan as a limited freebie from M&R Cupcakes, and I thought it pulled the look together along with a skirt from a referee costume from Hexed that I’d completely forgotten I even had. Once I settled on the Felicia hair from Exile, the rock star label was cemented.

Hair: Exile Felicia dark chestnut
Skin: LF Chai Skin - Nutmeg - Vixen
Necklace: Rebel -X- Crossed Bones Necklace
Cardigan: M&R Cupcakes Cropped Cardi - Black
Shirt, Pants, and Socks: Exile The Slut Rule Mouse costume
Skirt: Hexed Referee Costume - Black Flexi Skirt
Boots: SLink PVC Heeled Platform Boots Black
Eyes: Shine Helena Bright Marina
Manicure: Sin Skins Glitter Manicure Black
Piercings: Magika Piercing 5 (lip and eyebrow)
Lashes: Sin Skins Tipped Vanity Lashes

After a week away from SL, I’m finding I have even less tolerance for people who ooze negativity or who play pretend when it comes to their supposed friendships. There must be something in the air because I see people on Plurk talking about not signing in because they want to avoid someone on their friends list or asking if others have people that they can’t stand but still need to be around. It’s insane to allow someone else that much control over your personal time, but yet I understand because I’ve done it too.

I think some people misinterpret my quietness as acceptance, so maybe I need to just be a little louder and a little less resistant to indulging in conflict when it’s brought right to my feet. I guess I’ve just always figured that kind of thing wasn’t worth my time. Why wallow in the mud with the pigs when you end up feeling dirty and the pigs just enjoy it?

And honestly, I know my approach probably isn’t going to change any time soon and that I’m not going to start calling people out. It’s not my style. I am, however, going to keep on doing what I want when I want, and if that happens to bother a few people along the way, then I might take a bit more enjoyment from that than I normally would. I’m me - flawed and imperfect but still striving for the best, able to forgive but resistant to forgetting, quiet but stronger than you think. Those of you who approach me with honesty and respect get the same in return, and those who choose not to do that can stop wasting our time.

I’m back! My trip was just what I needed, but I still missed you guys! I really needed a break and quiet time with some of the most important people in my life, and I got just that. Now my mind seems a little clearer, and maybe I’ll have more interest in finishing up a few projects that have been lingering around.

For now though, I’m just enjoying being back in SL with my friends and hanging out with all of you. I was really happy to spend some time wandering around with my friend Helena in the Magic of Oz sim hunting slippers. Maybe I’ll be able to drag my mom over there soon too. Yes, I’ve brought my mom in to SL finally. So far, she’s only been in long enough to meet Kavar, but I’m hoping we can entice her back soon. I’m working on her.

I was also super thrilled to have Achariya ask me to put together a Halloween look for her blog. You can see my screens and her words in Decrepit Dolly. Getting that together for her and seeing what she thought about it was a lot of fun, and I loved the line “Brandy is known by her Exile hair” because honestly I don’t think I could ask for a better signature for my look. More importantly though I couldn’t ask for a better friend than Kavar. The fact that he makes my favorite hair is just icing on an already delicious cake.

That whole blogging mini-challenge didn’t exactly work out as planned, so my first post for it was also my last. Oh well. Maybe the next one will be better for me. I’ve been kind of busy this past week finishing up some things in SL and in my regular life and preparing for a trip. I’ll be spending some quality time with family for a week or so starting this Wednesday, and I definitely won’t be blogging or in SL during that time. You might see me pop up in Plurk, but I’m not sure.

Of course, there is a ton of stuff happening while I’m gone, but luckily, I can do most things either before the trip like Burning Life or after the trip like the Jewelry Exposition. My main reason for posting is actually related to Burning Life. I know there are tons of things to do and see there and that all of you will be running around trying to cram it all into a week, and I just want to suggest that you take time to check out Kere Delcon’s Burning Life installation.

Nga Kaitaki Whenua – Guardians of the Land is based on a selection of myths, legends, and customs of the Maori people of New Zealand, and it’s a visual treat. It’s also a great place to relax with your friends and take some photos. Walk all around the installation to check out the poses that Kere has placed in various locations, and you can also stand in the rings scattered around the area for more information and for free gifts related to the installation. You can see 2 of the 4 available T-shirts in the above photo of Kere and me.